Free PDF Helping Her Get Free: A Guide for Families and Friends of Abused Women, by Susan Brewster
Free PDF Helping Her Get Free: A Guide for Families and Friends of Abused Women, by Susan Brewster
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Helping Her Get Free: A Guide for Families and Friends of Abused Women, by Susan Brewster
Free PDF Helping Her Get Free: A Guide for Families and Friends of Abused Women, by Susan Brewster
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Review
Many books address the issue of battered women, but this is perhaps the first that is meant to help those who want to help.” Library Journal
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About the Author
Susan Brewster has been a clinical social worker/psychotherapist for 26 years, ten of which have been devoted to working specifically in the area of domestic violence. She lives with her husband and two children in New Mexico, where she is in private practice.
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Product details
Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Seal Press; 58507th edition (January 2, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1580051677
ISBN-13: 978-1580051675
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.7 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
27 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#313,522 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book was very helpful in realizing what you should and shouldn't do and what you should and shouldn't say. As a mother of a young woman in an abusive relationship, I feel helpless. I did the momma bear thing and flew down to where she is and packed her and her stuff in the car and she went back. WHY? She's not married to this jerk, there are no children. He has no redeeming qualities. I don't understand because she was a strong willed, self sufficient woman who has been manipulated.I talk to her everyday and subtlely say what I need to say without forcing her to defend him. She knows how I feel and how her stepfather and brothers and cousins feel. By using some of these techniques, she is beginning to come around.I just wish there was a group for families of abuse victims because I feel like I'm loosing my mind. This book plus a few others that I am reading are keeping me from going crazy. I keep my eye on the purpose which is to get her home before something terrible happens. There is advice I can give her to keep her safe. Couples counseling for abusive relationships is not a good idea. I didn't know that before reading this book.The author has been there, done that so she is speaking from personal experience as well as professional experience. Best one out there that I've found so far for families trying to help their loved ones get out of a bad situation.
This book is wonderful for a family member or best friend wanting to help a friend in an unhealthy relationship. I read it because my daughter was in a verbally abusive relationship. It was very useful, helped me understand, gave me some calm in the storm, gave me hope but kept it very real. I also lent it to a co worker who was trying to cope with a sister in a bad relationship. This book is helpful for verbal or physically abusive relationships as well as for teens to long time adults.
This book is a wonderful resource to give to families and friends of the abuse victim who are confused about how they can help, and simply have no concept of the victim's life on a daily basis. Validation of the abuse and the victim's point of view, particularly by close friends and family, is essential for encouragement and healing. It is also helpful for family members and friends to gain both understanding and healing of their own. There are so many inconsistencies in the life of a victim, even if only one close friend or family member validates their experiences and believes in them, it will do wonders for the victim's self worth and ability to trust in their own judgment. I highly recommend this book.
I'm in the process of reading this book. Can anyone say if this is a recommended approach for teens since there is the whole "daughter in rebellion" that goes along with the relationship? I would say I'm probably a rescuer, but want to be an anchor for her and help her out of an unhealthy situation before it gets life-threateningly bad. Thanks.
There is very little help out there for families and friends whose loved one is in an abusive situation. This is one of the rare books that helps worried families and friends understand a confusing, fearful relationship and its dynamics. Understanding is the beginning of being able to help, to be there with compassion and practical assistance, while lessening blame and anger which can isolate the abusee further. We were so grateful for this book. I have passed it on, repurchased it, encouraged it as a resource for many others struggling to learn what they can do and what they can't do.
As a concerned friend of a young woman in an abusive marriage I was getting extremely frustrated trying to obtain information on what I could do to help. So many people told me that there was nothing I could do, and the only thing the local domestic violence counseling service would tell me was to give her their phone number. This clearly written and easy to follow book helps you understand that while the sad truth is that there is very little anybody can do, the little that you can might make a huge difference in your loved one's life. Real life cases sited throughout the book show the value of effective communication and the need for patience when dealing with a friend or family member in such a terribly difficult situation. Without being too clinical or preachy the author provides insight into the dynamics of an abusive relationship that helps the reader start to make sense out of a subject that is hard to understand. She explains that while it will not be easy and there are no quick fixes you can make a difference by becoming an "anchor" for your loved one. This book helped me realize that all was not hopeless, that I could play a role, if even just a small one, in helping my friend get through this. Although it is still a work in progress, the book has helped ease my frustrations and allowed me to be better able to offer the support my friend needs. If you too are tired of being told that there is nothing you can do, get this book! Just a note: This book was originally titled "To Be An Anchor In The Storm" and the only obvious changes between that book, which I found at the local library, and this reprint which I purchased through Amazon was to some of the domestic violence resource info in the back of the book.
Well written book on a very tough subject. I am grateful for resources like this, it was invaluable during a difficult time in our family.
"Helping Her to Get Free" (formerly "To Be an Anchor in the Storm") by Susan Brewster, is an excellent, no-nonsense, book to help the family and friends of women who are in being abused by a spouse or boyfriend. The book identifies the many ways that abuse occurs, how to recognize the conditions, and describes the background behind abusive relationships. Mrs. Brewster provides ways that friends and family members can aid the woman by being "anchors" in that woman's life.
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